Growing pains

You might think that from my title I will be discussing my ever increasing belly. Granted this belly is increasing at rates never before measured. I think it has a lot to do with my previous obsession with ice cream and the extreme accessibility of the BYU creamery. This baby was preceded by a layer of Graham Canyon ice cream. No, the growing pains I am discussing are the mental and spiritual pains that Rob and I have experienced this last summer.

Our internship was an opportunity for growth. One that we weren't expecting and one that challenged us to the extreme. We were in beautiful St. Louis Park, Minnesota (see previous posts). There is a lot to love about Minnesota and we found it. We also found a lot more faith in and necessary reliance on our Heavenly Father and the Savior.

Our first difficulty occured after Rob had been working for a couple of weeks and was told by his manager that he needed to be more "proactive" (this was incredibly discouraging because Rob is a hard worker). Even though his manager was later told off by the internship mentor for coming down on Rob for no good reason this really affected Rob. For the rest of the internship he killed himself working almost everyday until 9:00 at night (including a lot of Saturdays).

The next event was the start of worse things to come. Our clutch died and needed to be replaced. Rob and I breathed a sigh of relief that we actually had an income so we could pay for it.

Rob continued to work hard but in the last month things began to unravel. I came home to Provo August 8th and opened my front door to find everything except the furniture from my back two bedrooms on the floor of my living room. There was a note that simply said they replaced the carpet and didn't know where to put everything. I found out in the next few hours that our apartment had flooded while we were away. This was funny actually. Can you imagine coming home after a day of traveling and finding your house in the "just moved in" look. The only thing to do is laugh.

Despite working hard and giving a great presentation only 4 of the 8 interns were given an offer. Rob was told that he was very smart and did a great job but they were looking for people with more background in business. On that note he left Minnesota for a four day drive home. During this time I was sick with a cold at home trying to put our house together, get Holly ready for school and missing Rob. Our student loan money was stalling (again). Through all of this we just kept telling each other to have faith that everything was going to work out.

On the last night of Rob's trip he called from just outside Billings, Montana. Our car stalled at the top of a mountain. We felt blessed that the car didn't stall on the extremely narrow switchbacks that went up the mountain. The tow truck was expensive. The mechanic said that it was the timing belt and we were really lucky that Rob was driving slow when it gave out. Despite not finding any damage to the engine after the timing belt was replaced the car would not start. An entire day of trying and we had two possible scenarios. 1). There was a hole in something $1500; 2). The engine was done (more money than the car was worth). We prayed for the first but got the latter. I started to despair. Rob and I had no way of replacing the car. Rob called his dad to come pick him up and we were planning on scrapping the car. Our life looked really bleak. Bus rides to the store and doctors appointments were in our future plus we had repair debts for the car.

In the middle of my despair and my trying to have faith that my Heavenly Father loved us I was reminded of Joseph Smith in Liberty jail: "the son of man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than He?" I was ashamed. I hadn't even come close to the trials Joseph Smith or the early saints had experienced and here I was giving up hope. I called Rob and he told me that a family in the MBA program who had a son with cancer just lost him that morning. My trials were nothing. I am still praying to make up for my lack of faith and feeling sorry for myself.

Heavenly Father did bless us. Despite our credit and no income we were able to trade our old car for a new (smaller) car. Rob got home. We have enough for our needs and our student loan money is on track again. The future is still uncertain about a lot of things but I do feel more confident than before that our Heavenly Father knows our needs better than we do. Rob and I were stretched and even though I faltered I learned.

This summer makes me feel as if I have been gone forever. I have grown so much. I hope I am a little bit better.